Friday, May 7, 2010

Mother’s Day

Yes, I guess there should be a day that Mothers are celebrated, after all no one is as important as a mother, if it were not for mothers we would not be here.

Mother’s Day for me, well…I have never really liked it. I have had some wonderful Mother’s Days and some really yucky ones. I think that I have finally realized that the reason I never really liked Mother’s Day is because when I finally got older enough to make this day nice for my mom…. she was no longer living. She was only 44 years old when she died of breast cancer and I was 22 years old, recently married and pregnant with Brittany, it's never a good time to loose your mom, but this was an especially sad time. To make the story even sadder, my younger brothers were only 17 and 8 years old. I think that now 22 years after my mom’s death, I realize now the full extend of how devastating life is when your mom dies. I felt deprived, I needed my mom, she only lived two miles from me, I was having my first baby why would God take her? My brother was a senior in high school, can you imagine going into your senior year, and two weeks prior your mom died? I know a lot of 17 year olds now that I am working with the High School students at my church, I can’t even fathom the pain they would have loosing their moms. Then you have this precious tenderhearted, eight year old boy, big brown eyes, curly hair, sweet as can be, (I was 14 when he was born I was so happy to be his big sister). Eight years old and your mom dies. The song “Christmas Shoes” pretty much sums up my little brother’s life at that time. I had to pull the car over the first time I heard that song, who would write such a sad depressing song, maybe someone that lived through the tragedy of loosing their mom when they were eight years old. There are many stories I could tell that came up for my younger brothers after my mom died, but the intent of this note is not to make you cry.

Christmas Shoes by Newsong,

"Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please

It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size

Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time

You see she's been sick for quite a while

And I know these shoes would make her smile

And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight"

Why does God allow this kind of sadness in the lives of people that love Him? I am not sure I can really answer that question with completeness, but I can say with complete confidence, God does get us through tragedy. God replaced my mom with three of the most wonderful daughters, (later two sons!) Brittany was born three months after my mom died, then Courtney and Lindsay were born less than two years after my mom died, I was busy. I really could have used a mom to help with the girls, but I did it all myself, instead of going to my mom for help, I went to God for help and He came through in every single situation. My brothers also made it through, life has been hard at times, lonely, longing for a mom, graduations, marriages, divorce, serious life and death illness’, births, holidays, birthdays, firsts of all sorts, events that moms are usually the first person called. Each one of these events is a reminder that our mom was gone.

God is so amazing that He filled my emptiness with liveliness, as you can imagine there really hasn't been a dull or lonely moment since I became a mom myself. I have been blessed so far beyond my imagination, God me (?), a mother of FIVE? You trust me with FIVE humans? He trusted me, helped me and answered my prayers for my children. God has been faithful to me, He as seen me through extreme difficulties, life is tragic but livable when God is your strength.

Mother’s Day is a bitter-sweet event, for those of you that have your moms, love ‘em up this weekend, for those of you that have lost your moms or don’t have a good relationship with your mom, pour your love into someone else, the world is not lacking people that need to be loved.

“Help, God—the bottom has fallen out of my life! Master, hear my cry for help!
Listen hard! Open your ears! Listen to my cries for mercy.”

Psalms 130:1-2