Friday, April 2, 2010

H E A R T and S O U L

It’s hard to explain, wanting to share all that God has done in this seemingly bland life but not wanting to give others reason to worry that their life intertwined with mine might give them away. The deepest, most personal thoughts and feelings that are deep inside my heart and soul, are not just mine but they belong to others, can I tell my side of the story with out revealing someone else’s heart and soul?

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

The S O U L part is easy, my soul is who I really am, there is nothing to hide, nothing to fear, my soul is who I am, the part of me that God will keep after my old warn out body is gone. Whoa, the part that God will keep, why would He want to keep me? It’s hard to understand that God the Creator of everything would want to keep my soul. All that I am makes up my soul, the good bad and the ugly. But through acceptance of Jesus Christ, God’s gift to me, my soul has been turned pure white. Yes, the good that’s easy, the bad not as easy, the ugly, God took from me the day I turned my soul over to Him. With out Christ my soul would be nothing but a dirty disaster all mangled and twisted because of my own sin. So when I speak of my “heart and S O U L” I speak of the pure white part of me that will eventually live eternally with God.

Deuteronomy 4:29
But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your
H E A R T and with all your S O U L.

My heart according to the Bible is where my treasures are: Is my heart the keeper of my treasures?

Matthew 6:21
For where your treasure is, there your H E A R T will be also.

So what then do I treasure? Joy, pain, sorrow, happiness, loneliness, overwhelmingness, fear, excitement, unexplainable love, peace....are these my treasures. These are the things I feel in my heart. Some think that treasures are cars, homes, name brand clothes, extravagant get the point. I am happy to say these are not treasures to me none of these things excite me and stir my H E A R T like joy, pain, sorrow, happiness, ect... So with the exception of loneliness all of my treasures involve relationships with someone human or super human and technically loneliness does involve a human or super human relationship, the lack of someone is loneliness.

So if my S O U L belongs to God, and my H E A R T is moved my people, do they even belong to me?, this is really a confusing question.

My H E A R T is moved by people. I see people differently than I use to, in the past I saw people for who and what they were at that moment. Today when I meet someone, I want to hear their story, I want to make a connection with them, I want to know them, why they do what they do, where did they come from, how did they grow up, what makes them who they are today. As I have said many times to younger women that I know, we all have a story, one that is orchestrated by the Creator of the universe. I find myself looking at people in light of what part of their story should they be sharing and what part are they living right now. Yet, I have not developed my story, not in a way that it can be shared coherently or in a way that it can be an encouragement to someone else.

What is my story? My life has been a series of events that have led me right to the feet of God. I have been the recipient of many answered prayers. Here are a couple of topics I think I could develop into a story: life, death, illness, healing, loss, gain, God’s protection for my family, troubles of all sorts, joy in sadness, receiving messages from God, not in a creepy way but in a real way, like the rainbow God placed in the sky for me, as He promised me that life was going to be ok, then it was better than ok. Healing of a broken heart, not just healing but then the replacement of things much better. Motherhood: sick babies, babies who had open heart surgery at 11 months old, doctors saying there was a chance she could die on the operating table, two babies at one time, surprise babies, growing babies to adulthood, boy babies and girl babies, preemie babies, happy health babies, the heart ache of adolescences, adult children, the joy of seeing my children grow in their walk with their Creator. Marriage: the good bad and the ugly, enough said. Finances: the Lord gives and the Lord takes. Church: the joy and sorrow of living in a community of sinners saved by grace. Ministry: the joy of spending time with high school students, what a gift God has given me in this area of my life. Career: the regrets, the gift of my job now. Extended family: differences, sorrow, choices made that have affected me. Ending of lives that seemed unfair, my mom, my niece, a cousin. This plus more makes my life a living testimony of where I’ve been, where I am going and the ability to have J O Y in the midst of anguish.

James 1:2
Consider it pure J O Y, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.

This is a partial list of areas in my life I could share with someone. In every single area of my life I have been blessed, but five years ago I may not have recognized the blessings, today my heart is overflowing and ready to explode with the JOY of answered prayer and the gifts in my life that I would have never even asked God for but He thought enough of me, to give me: a life full of goodness sprinkled with enough discomfort to keep me in HIS presences.

God is real. He’s here. He hears. He comforts. He moves.
He uses us to be a vital part of His plan.

Where do I start?

"We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb
and the words of our testimony,
everyone overcome"
Desperation Band