Birthday Week Begins:

I am staying up right now even though I am exhausted from a wonderful week of serving God in Detroit because I want to be the first person to wish Courtney and Lindsay, "Happy 21st Birthday".

Twenty one years....whoa, seriously it seems like it was maybe a month or two ago that I was blessed with a set of preemie twin girls. The tiniest babies I had ever seen and I was responsible for them.

What I have learned the most from having twin girls....God does answer prayer, not always how I expected Him to but God has always comes through.

Courtney and Lindsay both love the Lord and have a great understanding of God's purpose. I am so honored to be their mom.

Looking for Remarkable Things

Today I am trying to figure out what is important. I can't do everything I want to...so what is most important. Cleaning...sleeping...reading...studying God's word...what does God want me to do today?

Luke 5:26
Everyone was AmAzEd and gave PRAISE to God. They were filled with AwE and said, "We have seen REMARKABLE things today."

It's settled...I am going to look for REMARKABLE things today.

God of Detroit

Baseball Prayer

God teaches us in such interesting ways, but does he really teach us the principle of prayer through Little League Baseball? I think so. I have always looked at God’s answers to prayer as either yes, no or wait. But I have to admit that there have been occasions that I was certain that my prayers weren’t even received.

The value of consistent prayer is not that He will hear us, but that we will hear Him.

~William McGill

Sitting in the stands week after week, eagerly watching as my sons take the bat and step up to the plate, my heart gets anxious and I begin to say a little prayer, this is how it typically goes, “Lord, please let him hit the ball.” Or “Lord, please let him get on first base, a hit would be nice but if he gets hit with the ball and it is not life threatening, I’m ok with that to.” How desperate is that? Well, this year God answered my prayers for Chad quite a few times, he had more than one game saving hit, and he had his best season ever. God had different plans for A.J this season. My prayers were answered but not in the typical way, not the boring and possibly painful way I prayed but in a super natural, creative, exciting, memorable and I hesitate to say but there was just a little, “in your face” edge to this answered prayer.

Hernie Harwell I am not, but I will give a little play by play that leads to this obvious answer to pray. Last game of the season, the big championship play off game, last inning, last up to bat for the “A’s”, (A.J's team) there are two outs, one man on 2^nd base, the score 11 to 12 A.J’s team was behind by one run and yes, you guessed it, my boy is up to bat. I can’t even imagine how his heart must have been pounding, he by his own admission was in a “slump” he had not hit the ball in about 5 games.

So, here I go, “Lord, please.” strike one.

“Lord, are you there?” strike two.

“LORD, I’M SERIOUS.” SMACK. A line drive right through two outfielders…. the game is tied. A.J’s coach begins to scream, “Run A.J…run”. YES! He ran all the way home with a two run hit.

A.J’s team met him at home plate with a hero’s welcome; his hit won the championship game.

I am very competitive and I like to win and I like my kids to win but winning a sporting event has never brought tears to my eyes. This game was no exception, I did not cry because of the win, but I still cry at the love that God showed my son and I through this story. See, I told you the end of the story the beginning of the story started a year prior.

In the prior season I had the misfortune of witnessing a Little League coach verbally humiliating a child during a pre-game warm up and a parent humiliating a child on the same team, the same night.

Mark 9:37

"Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me."

The details of the story I will write about at another time, but the gist of the story is, I protected a child and God honored that. I reported the situation to the league president, the coaches and parent were reprimanded and it was put on record, along with a note stating “the Fillmore boys were never to be placed on this coaches team.” But it was not that easy, to give you a sense of how twisted adults can be especially the ones I was dealing with now, I was actually asked, if I knew whom I was dealing with? Yes of course, I knew the people involved very well, their children go to school with mine, but that was not going to stop me from standing up against evil. When it comes to protecting kids, it doesn’t matter to me who you are and I am pretty sure that the message got out loud and clear.

You are probably beginning to figure out what makes this story so meaningful. Yes, A.J’s winning hit was perfectly placed and perfectly timed. The team that lost at the hands of A.J’s winning hit, was coached by the arrogant and evil bully that I turned in the year before, and because God is in the details, it was the coach's son that was pitching. God waited for the perfect time for A.J to make the big hit, and not by coincidence was it hit to the team with the mean coach, no God planned it that way, God was making a statement, "Do what is right even when it's hard." As you may also guess A.J did not really want me to turn in this coach last year, because he does go to school with a lot of the kids on that team, but I just could not let this slide past and in the end A.J understood how important it was to try and stop children from being humiliated.

The very man that humiliated that little boy last year, was humiliated by the kid whose mom stood up to him. In my humanness I could definitely come up with this scenario but I don't think I had the nerve to pray that God would humiliate this man, it killed him that his team lost and that it was A.J that hit the ball.

A sad side note to this story, the boys on the losing team were crying, and when A.J asked them why, they said their coach/dad was going to yell at them. Yell at them? As if they did not do their very best. Wow, how glad I am that my Father doesn't yell at me when I am doing my best.

I can just see my loving Father watching His little creations playing baseball and enjoying it as I do but knowing all along, that one hit was going to be the example I needed to remind me that my God is concerned about all the details in my life, even the seemingly unimportant ones. Week after week God heard my prayer for my son to be a successful hitter, but would I have recognized God’s involvement had A.J gotten a hit every time I prayed that prayer? God is so awesome; my words can’t really explain the joy I feel when I recall how thoughtful God is of me, how He loves me and how He wants to be included in every part of my life.

John 17:21-23

"...that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”

Making a difference.
June 2010

So, those of you that have known me for a while know that when my girls were little I was a basket case about sending them to the public school, I went to a Christian school for most of my life and I had only heard scary negative things about public schools. Well, as God often does He has shown me that my own planning and worry just goes to waste, because He already has a plan for me and for my children, the only thing He wants me to do is to trust Him in everything, not just in the easy things.

John 14:1 "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.”

So here is a little of what God has planned and how my family has gotten to be a part of it. A.J. is the first of our kids that will be going through the public school system K-12 he has never been home schooled, which the girls were for a short time, and he has never gone to a private school.

A.J loves people; at a very early age he showed a lot concern for people, his love for people comes from his vast understanding of how God wants to use Christians in the world to show HIS love. We are the hands and feet of Christ we are suppose to be Jesus in the flesh, our love for others is what makes us different from the average person. Whether or not we are recognized for doing the right thing or not we are commissioned by God to love others: smile at people we don’t know, sit with a lonely soul at lunch, be on a team of “losers”, protect the week from bullies, help a teacher clean her room or carry stuff to her car, be dependable, speak up when someone else it being hurtful or rude, befriend the friendless, care for the handicapped, go to the end of the line when there is a scuffle, encourage the discouraged, see the sunny side on a bleak cloudy day. Why, simply because God tells us to.

Romans 12:14 “Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.”

Philippians 2:1-8 “If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.”

Yesterday at the 5th grade graduation at West Maple Elementary, A.J as well as Skyler McQueen, a girl from Kensington Church won this prestigious award:

“Awarded since 1956, the Peasley-Honn Award, named after two former teachers is given annually to two fifth graders who meet ALL of the criteria established many years ago. Recipients are selected based on the following criteria: exemplary leadership, high scholarship, outstanding citizenship and service, dependability, good sportsmanship and cooperation, excellent attendance and attitude, strong participation in many activities and in class.”

Out of 85 fifth graders, these two special kids were given this award, as the principal read why these two were chosen, I just couldn’t help but re-name the award, “the Christ-like” award. The principal talked about how A.J could be placed on any team of students and was always positive and enthusiastic, he went out of his way to help teachers and students, he always has a positive attitude, and that everyone could depend on him to be happy & cheerful. I wish I actually had the words that she read about A.J she truly described the characteristics that God wants us to have. Is A.J perfect…. um no and he would be the first to tell you that, he’s actually a little embarrassed about all of the “hoopla”, in his mind everyone should act like this and I often have to explain to him why some people don’t.

All of this may seem like I am just “bragging” about how wonderful my kid is, but truly I say all of this to say, Christians can make a difference in the public school. Every single staff member and the majority of students (West Maple is a huge school, I believe they have 500 hundred students and I am sure there is at least 50 staff members) knows that A.J goes to church and that he is a Christian. Last year 85 students voted him class president, this year the staff chose him to receive this award. A.J and Skyler have impacted the Birmingham Public School system. God has chosen them to be His hands and feet in this community and they have done exactly that. I can’t wait to see what the next seven years brings. I pray that A.J and Skyler will both continue to take this challenge “to love others” to heart, and that they will have an opportunity to share Christ with their teachers and classmates. As A.J said at the end of his speech, “…watch out Berkshire here we come!”

1 Timothy 4:12 “Get the word out. Teach all these things. And don't let anyone put you down because you're young. Teach believers with your life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity.”

Mother’s Day

Yes, I guess there should be a day that Mothers are celebrated, after all no one is as important as a mother, if it were not for mothers we would not be here.

Mother’s Day for me, well…I have never really liked it. I have had some wonderful Mother’s Days and some really yucky ones. I think that I have finally realized that the reason I never really liked Mother’s Day is because when I finally got older enough to make this day nice for my mom…. she was no longer living. She was only 44 years old when she died of breast cancer and I was 22 years old, recently married and pregnant with Brittany, it's never a good time to loose your mom, but this was an especially sad time. To make the story even sadder, my younger brothers were only 17 and 8 years old. I think that now 22 years after my mom’s death, I realize now the full extend of how devastating life is when your mom dies. I felt deprived, I needed my mom, she only lived two miles from me, I was having my first baby why would God take her? My brother was a senior in high school, can you imagine going into your senior year, and two weeks prior your mom died? I know a lot of 17 year olds now that I am working with the High School students at my church, I can’t even fathom the pain they would have loosing their moms. Then you have this precious tenderhearted, eight year old boy, big brown eyes, curly hair, sweet as can be, (I was 14 when he was born I was so happy to be his big sister). Eight years old and your mom dies. The song “Christmas Shoes” pretty much sums up my little brother’s life at that time. I had to pull the car over the first time I heard that song, who would write such a sad depressing song, maybe someone that lived through the tragedy of loosing their mom when they were eight years old. There are many stories I could tell that came up for my younger brothers after my mom died, but the intent of this note is not to make you cry.

Christmas Shoes by Newsong,

"Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please

It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size

Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time

You see she's been sick for quite a while

And I know these shoes would make her smile

And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight"

Why does God allow this kind of sadness in the lives of people that love Him? I am not sure I can really answer that question with completeness, but I can say with complete confidence, God does get us through tragedy. God replaced my mom with three of the most wonderful daughters, (later two sons!) Brittany was born three months after my mom died, then Courtney and Lindsay were born less than two years after my mom died, I was busy. I really could have used a mom to help with the girls, but I did it all myself, instead of going to my mom for help, I went to God for help and He came through in every single situation. My brothers also made it through, life has been hard at times, lonely, longing for a mom, graduations, marriages, divorce, serious life and death illness’, births, holidays, birthdays, firsts of all sorts, events that moms are usually the first person called. Each one of these events is a reminder that our mom was gone.

God is so amazing that He filled my emptiness with liveliness, as you can imagine there really hasn't been a dull or lonely moment since I became a mom myself. I have been blessed so far beyond my imagination, God me (?), a mother of FIVE? You trust me with FIVE humans? He trusted me, helped me and answered my prayers for my children. God has been faithful to me, He as seen me through extreme difficulties, life is tragic but livable when God is your strength.

Mother’s Day is a bitter-sweet event, for those of you that have your moms, love ‘em up this weekend, for those of you that have lost your moms or don’t have a good relationship with your mom, pour your love into someone else, the world is not lacking people that need to be loved.

“Help, God—the bottom has fallen out of my life! Master, hear my cry for help!
Listen hard! Open your ears! Listen to my cries for mercy.”

Psalms 130:1-2

H E A R T and S O U L

It’s hard to explain, wanting to share all that God has done in this seemingly bland life but not wanting to give others reason to worry that their life intertwined with mine might give them away. The deepest, most personal thoughts and feelings that are deep inside my heart and soul, are not just mine but they belong to others, can I tell my side of the story with out revealing someone else’s heart and soul?

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

The S O U L part is easy, my soul is who I really am, there is nothing to hide, nothing to fear, my soul is who I am, the part of me that God will keep after my old warn out body is gone. Whoa, the part that God will keep, why would He want to keep me? It’s hard to understand that God the Creator of everything would want to keep my soul. All that I am makes up my soul, the good bad and the ugly. But through acceptance of Jesus Christ, God’s gift to me, my soul has been turned pure white. Yes, the good that’s easy, the bad not as easy, the ugly, God took from me the day I turned my soul over to Him. With out Christ my soul would be nothing but a dirty disaster all mangled and twisted because of my own sin. So when I speak of my “heart and S O U L” I speak of the pure white part of me that will eventually live eternally with God.

Deuteronomy 4:29
But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your
H E A R T and with all your S O U L.

My heart according to the Bible is where my treasures are: Is my heart the keeper of my treasures?

Matthew 6:21
For where your treasure is, there your H E A R T will be also.

So what then do I treasure? Joy, pain, sorrow, happiness, loneliness, overwhelmingness, fear, excitement, unexplainable love, peace....are these my treasures. These are the things I feel in my heart. Some think that treasures are cars, homes, name brand clothes, extravagant vacations...you get the point. I am happy to say these are not treasures to me none of these things excite me and stir my H E A R T like joy, pain, sorrow, happiness, ect... So with the exception of loneliness all of my treasures involve relationships with someone human or super human and technically loneliness does involve a human or super human relationship, the lack of someone is loneliness.

So if my S O U L belongs to God, and my H E A R T is moved my people, do they even belong to me? Hmmm....wow, this is really a confusing question.

My H E A R T is moved by people. I see people differently than I use to, in the past I saw people for who and what they were at that moment. Today when I meet someone, I want to hear their story, I want to make a connection with them, I want to know them, why they do what they do, where did they come from, how did they grow up, what makes them who they are today. As I have said many times to younger women that I know, we all have a story, one that is orchestrated by the Creator of the universe. I find myself looking at people in light of what part of their story should they be sharing and what part are they living right now. Yet, I have not developed my story, not in a way that it can be shared coherently or in a way that it can be an encouragement to someone else.

What is my story? My life has been a series of events that have led me right to the feet of God. I have been the recipient of many answered prayers. Here are a couple of topics I think I could develop into a story: life, death, illness, healing, loss, gain, God’s protection for my family, troubles of all sorts, joy in sadness, receiving messages from God, not in a creepy way but in a real way, like the rainbow God placed in the sky for me, as He promised me that life was going to be ok, then it was better than ok. Healing of a broken heart, not just healing but then the replacement of things much better. Motherhood: sick babies, babies who had open heart surgery at 11 months old, doctors saying there was a chance she could die on the operating table, two babies at one time, surprise babies, growing babies to adulthood, boy babies and girl babies, preemie babies, happy health babies, the heart ache of adolescences, adult children, the joy of seeing my children grow in their walk with their Creator. Marriage: the good bad and the ugly, enough said. Finances: the Lord gives and the Lord takes. Church: the joy and sorrow of living in a community of sinners saved by grace. Ministry: the joy of spending time with high school students, what a gift God has given me in this area of my life. Career: the regrets, the gift of my job now. Extended family: differences, sorrow, choices made that have affected me. Ending of lives that seemed unfair, my mom, my niece, a cousin. This plus more makes my life a living testimony of where I’ve been, where I am going and the ability to have J O Y in the midst of anguish.

James 1:2
Consider it pure J O Y, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.

This is a partial list of areas in my life I could share with someone. In every single area of my life I have been blessed, but five years ago I may not have recognized the blessings, today my heart is overflowing and ready to explode with the JOY of answered prayer and the gifts in my life that I would have never even asked God for but He thought enough of me, to give me: a life full of goodness sprinkled with enough discomfort to keep me in HIS presences.

God is real. He’s here. He hears. He comforts. He moves.
He uses us to be a vital part of His plan.

Where do I start?

"We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb
and the words of our testimony,
everyone overcome"
Desperation Band